Broken Angel
by Aika
Summary: What does the sailor-suited soldier of destruction do when she thinks she's the enemy? Simple. Treat yourself just like any other enemy... *Revised edition of Goddess of Destruction*
1. Broken Angel

Hey, Aika here!! This is my first deathfic. I wrote  
it on one of those days when I was really depressed   
and sort of suicidal. Oh well, the usual disclamer:   
Sailormoon does not belong to meand neither does   
any other copyrighted material. Really, if I did   
own this stuff, would I be wasting my time writing   
this??  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~   
  
  
Broken Angel  
  
Sunday  
  
Today I heard Setsuna-mama and Haruka-papa   
talking. Setsuna looked like she was holding back   
a thousand tears and Haruka looked as if a new   
enemy was attacking. The lines of worry etched   
across her face made me pause and listen. For   
them to look as if the world is ending must mean   
something truly terrible is happening.  
  
"Are you sure?" questioned Haruka, her   
emotional state shown by the husky tone of   
her voice.  
  
"Yes," sighed Setsuna, wearily sinking   
into an armchair. "Taru-chan will indeed   
be the unmaker of our world. If she stays   
here, our dimention will cease to   
exist..."  
  
"And all we have worked for will amount to   
naught??"  
  
"Yes."  
  
I couldn't listen anymore. My heart had shattered   
like Setsuna-mama's fine china tea cups:   
exploding in every direction, razor sharp and   
cutting into my soul. I must do something.   
  
Monday  
  
My fate has caused me  
to find a new direction  
I am a mistake  
  
Thursday  
  
I am not human. I killed a girl today. She was   
beating some poor child. I willed her to die.   
Didn't touch her, didn't threaten her. Just willed   
her to die. And she did, fell to the ground like a   
marionette cut from its strings. No scream, just a   
thump as she collapsed, a mask of rage still on   
her face. I felt neither remorse nor glee. I felt   
nothing.  
  
Monday  
  
I don't dream anymore and I don't smile either.   
I feel empty. Chibi-Usa says I'll feel better   
after we go to the amusement park this weekend.   
I don't want to go. I have a feeling it will   
all end in tragedy.   
  
Tuesday  
  
Michiru-mama left her e-mail open, so out of   
curiosity I read it.   
  
Michiru-  
I feel it. The silence is unraveling the   
bonds that pulled us together and death  
has singled us out one by one. Rei says   
that the sacred fire is dying and showing  
her a future of barren earth. Ami says that   
the earth itself is absorbing negative   
energy and slowly destroying itself. The   
Ginzuishou is losing its power. We must   
deal with her as soon as possible.   
  
  
  
-Setsuna  
  
I realized they were talking about me. I knew I   
didn't belong here, on this beautiful planet with a   
future. I knew I was 'wrong'. But I can't change   
what I am. Maybe I should leave...  
  
Wednesday - Midnight  
  
I had a dream for the first time in a week. In it I   
was talking to a braided boy.  
  
"We do not belong on this earth," he said.  
  
"Why not???" I asked.  
  
"Because we're the children of Shinigami."  
  
"NANI?!?"  
  
"Like I said, we're the children of   
Shinigami. I'm death, you're destruction.   
We can't stay in this world. We hurt so   
many; especially the one's we love..."  
  
He began to fade into the mists.  
  
I heard his voice carried on a non-existent wind.  
  
"T a k e c a r e ....."  
  
"Wait!!!" I cried, but he was already   
gone.  
  
I woke up in a cold sweat, disoriented, unsure of   
what to do. I'm afraid.  
  
Thursday - Morning  
  
I told Setsuna I didn't want to go with Chibi Usa.   
She would hear nothing of the sort. "You'll   
have a good time," she said. I don't believe her.  
  
Friday  
  
"There is no such thing as good or evil, light or   
dark, right or wrong. It's all relative"  
  
Setsuna said that once and I find myself thinking   
of it all the time. Am I really that bad for being   
Destruction? Is what they say true?? Death is a  
part of life, but it is shunned for being evil and   
cruel. I talked to the braided boy last night, and   
he said people have no perspective. Death puts   
reality in check, shows them how precious life   
really is. I'm so indecisive. I believe what he   
says, yet part of me refuses. I want to go with   
Chibi-Usa, but part of me knows it's dangerous. I   
really don't know what to do...  
  
Saturday  
  
I'm leaving for the amusement park in two hours.   
Usagi and Chibi-Chibi are coming along with me and   
Chibi-Usa. I don't want to go.  
  
Sunday  
  
This is my last entry. The braided boy was right.   
You lose the ones closest to you. We were on a   
roller coaster. Usagi, Chibi Usa and Chibi-Chibi   
were in the front car. And... it detached. First   
I heard the screams, then I saw the car veer off   
the track and explode as it hit the ground. It   
was horrible. The smell of blackened metal and   
charred flesh; it made me sick to my stomach. And   
then I saw it. The locket. The Ginzuishou   
transformed into nothing more than clouded shards   
of glass. No one blamed me, but I feel guilty as   
sin. I didn't mean it. No one was supposed to die.   
I just wanted to get even with Usagi for telling me   
off earlier. But I can't change the past, so I must   
change the future. The goddess of destruction was   
never meant to walk in the world of the living. So   
that's it. I'm returning to the land of Shinigami.   
  
Goodbye, good luck, and farewell.  
  
  
Hotaru Tomoe  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *   
  
It had been a day since the death of the   
princess and everyone was truly grief-stricken.   
After she had came home, Hotaru had locked herself   
in her room. Michiru had come out of her selfish   
crying long enough to check on her.  
  
"Hotaru, it's me. Can I come in??"  
  
Without waiting for an answer, she opened the   
door.  
  
"Oh my god!! Oh my god!!! HOTARU!!!"  
  
Haruka and Setsuna quickly sprinted down the   
hall to see what had made Michiru so   
hysterical.  
  
And there she was. Hanging lifelessly from   
her favorite chandelier, her face mirrored by   
crystal beads that threw little rainbows around   
the room. And for all the world, she truly   
looked the part of the broken angel holding a   
letter from god.  
  
Haruka walked up and tentatively   
touched her hand.  
  
Cold, limp, lifeless, dead.  
  
Haruka then pulled the sealed envelope,   
carefully taped to Hotaru's hand, from   
her and slowly opened it.  
  
Everyone,  
I'm sorry for all the hurt I've caused.   
For all the pain you've suffered. It's   
all my fault. I killed that girl. I   
killed Usagi. Setsuna-mama, you were   
right all along. I was never meant to   
be reincarnated. The Goddess of   
Destruction was never meant to live   
in peace with the ones she was sent   
to destroy. I love you all and I   
wish there was some other way... but I   
could not find one.  
  
Best Wishes,  
  
Hotaru Tomoe  
  
Tears welled up in Setsuna's eyes. Then she   
broke down crying.  
  
"It wasn't her fault..." she sobbed, "That   
little girl, she died of an aneurysm. And   
Usagi... It was Chaos. I traced it back.   
Hotaru could never have made the crystal   
shatter like that..."  
  
"How could this happen?!?" demanded Haruka,   
hands on her hips.  
  
Then it dawned on Michiru.  
  
"She knew..." her voice was barely a whisper,   
raging on the verge of hysterical, "She must've   
known how paranoid we were... and it got to her.   
And she believed it. She believed *us*. She   
didn't want to hurt anyone..."  
  
Setsuna then realized with a heavy heart, that   
this wouldn't have happened if she hadn't been so   
scared. That it should never have happened, she   
should have had faith in one she raised as a   
daughter, one who called her 'mama'.  
  
Haruka, feeling the same way, felt her eyes widen   
and her pulse quicken in panic.  
  
"Hotaru didn't commit suicide. We killed her. We   
killed her!!!!"  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~   
  
Authors notes: An aneurysm is a burst blood vessel   
in the brain. It causes instant death. And Hotaru   
is my favorite character. Just because she died   
does not mean I hate her. I identify with her the   
most and was just in the mood to write something   
depressing because I was depressed.  
  
Questions, comments, flames?!? Please review and   
go ahead and critisise.   



	2. Goddess of Destruction: Original Version...

Hey, Aika here!! This is my first deathfic. I wrote it on one of those days when I was really   
depressed and sort of suicidal. Oh well, the usual disclamers: Sailormoon does not belong to me  
and neither does any other copyrighted material. Really, if I did own this stuff, would I be   
wasting my time writing this?? Hell no!! I'd be chillin' in my own penthouse in NYC. And with   
out further ado; the fic!!! ^_~  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *  
  
  
  
Goddess of Destruction  
  
Sunday  
  
Today I heard Setsuna-mama and Haruka-papa talking. Setsuna looked like she was holding back a   
thousand tears and Haruka looked as if a new enemy was attacking. The lines of worry etched   
across her face made me pause and listen. For them to look as if the world is ending must mean   
something truly terrible is happening.  
  
"Are you sure?" questioned Haruka, her emotional state shown by the husky tone of her voice.  
  
"Yes," sighed Setsuna, wearily sinking into an armchair. "Hota-chan will indeed be the unmaker  
of our world. If she stays here, our dimention will cease to exist..."  
  
"And all we have worked for will amount to naught??"  
  
"Yes."  
  
I couldn't listen anymore. My heart had shattered like Setsuna-mama's fine china tea cups:   
exploding in every direction, razor sharp and cutting into my soul. I must do something.  
  
Monday  
  
My fate has caused me  
to find a new direction  
I am a mistake  
  
Thursday  
  
I am not human. I killed a girl today. She was beating some poor child. I willed her to die.   
Didn't touch her, didn't threaten her. Just willed her to die. And she did, fell to the ground   
like a marionette cut from its strings. No scream, just a thump as she collapsed, a mask of   
rage still on her face. I felt neither remorse nor glee. I felt nothing.  
  
Monday  
  
I don't dream anymore and I don't smile either. I feel empty. Chibi Usa says I'll feel better   
after we go to the amusement park this weekend. I don't want to go. I have a feeling it will   
all end in tragedy.   
  
Tuesday  
  
Michiru-mama left her e-mail open, so out of curiosity I read it.   
  
Michiru-  
I feel it. The silence is unraveling the bonds that pulled us   
together and death has singled us out one by one. Rei says   
that the sacred fire is dying and showing her a future of   
barren earth. Ami says that the earth itself is absorbing   
negative energy and slowly destroying itself. The silver   
crystal is losing its power. We must deal with her as soon  
as possible.  
  
-Setsuna  
  
I realized they were talking about me. I knew I didn't belong here, on this beautiful planet   
with a future. I knew I was 'wrong'. But I can't change what I am. Maybe I should leave...  
  
Wednesday- Midnight  
  
I had a dream for the first time in a week. In it I was talking to a braided boy.  
  
"We do not belong on this earth," he said.  
  
"Why not???" I asked.  
  
"Because we're the children of shinigami."  
  
"NANI?!?"  
  
"Like I said, we're the children of shinigami. I'm death, you're destruction. We can't   
stay in this world. We hurt so many; especially the one's we love..."  
  
He began to fade into the mists.  
  
I heard his voice carried on a non-existent wind.  
  
" T a k e c a r e ....."  
  
"Wait!!!" I cried, but he was already gone.  
  
I woke up in a cold sweat, disoriented, unsure of what to do. I'm afraid.  
  
Thursday-Morning  
  
I told Setsuna I didn't want to go with Chibi Usa. She would hear nothing of the sort. "You'll   
have a good time," she said. I don't believe her.  
  
Friday  
  
"There is no such thing as good or evil, light or dark, right or wrong. It's all relative"  
  
Setsuna said that once and I find myself thinking of it all the time. Am I really that bad for   
being Destruction? Is what they say true?? Death is a part of life, but it is shunned for being   
evil and cruel. I talked to the braided boy last night, and he said people have no perspective.   
Death puts reality in check, shows them how precious life really is. I'm so indecisive. I   
believe what he says, yet part of me refuses. I want to go with Chibi Usa, but part of me knows  
it's dangerous. I really don't know what to do...  
  
Saturday  
  
I'm leaving for the amusement park in two hours. Usagi and Mamoru are coming along with me and   
Chibi Usa. I don't want to go.  
  
Sunday  
  
This is my last entry. The braided boy was right. You lose the ones closest to you. We were on   
a roller coaster. Usagi, Chibi Usa and Mamoru were in the front car and it detached. First I   
heard the screams, then I saw the car veer off the track and explode as it hit the ground. It  
was horrible. The smell of blackened metal and charred flesh; it made me sick to my stomach.   
And then I saw it. The locket. The silver crystal transformed into nothing more than clouded   
shards of glass. No one blamed me, but I feel guilty as sin. I didn't mean it. No one was   
supposed to die. I just wanted to get even with Usagi for telling me off earlier. But I can't   
change the past, so I must change the future. The goddess of destruction was never meant to   
walk in the world of the living. So that's it. I'm returning to the land of shinigami.   
  
Goodbye, good luck, and farewell.  
  
  
Hotaru Tomoe  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *   
  
It had been a day since the death of the princess and everyone was truly grief-stricken.   
After she had came home, Hotaru had locked herself in her room. Michiru had come out of her   
selfish crying long enough to check on her.  
  
"Hotaru, it's me. Can I come in??"  
  
Without waiting for an answer, she opened the door.  
  
"Oh my god!! Oh my god!!! HOTARU!!!"  
  
Haruka and Setsuna quickly sprinted down the hall to see what had made Michiru so hysterical.  
  
And there she was. Hanging lifelessly from her favorite chandelier, her face mirrored by   
crystal beads that threw little rainbows around the room. And for all the world, she truly   
looked the part of the fallen angel holding a letter from god.  
  
Haruka walked up and tentatively touched her hand.  
  
Cold, limp, lifeless, dead.  
  
Haruka then pulled the sealed envelope, carefully taped to Hotaru's hand, from her and slowly   
opened it.  
  
Everyone,  
I'm sorry for all the hurt I've caused. For all the pain   
you've suffered. It's all my fault. I killed that girl. I   
killed Usagi. Setsuna, you were right all along. I was  
never meant to be reincarnated. The Goddess of   
Destruction was never meant to live in peace with  
the ones she was sent to destroy. I love you all and I   
wish there was some other way... but I could not find  
one.  
  
Best Wishes,  
  
Hotaru Tomoe  
  
Tears welled up in Setsuna's eyes. Then she broke down crying.  
  
"It wasn't her fault..." she sobbed, "That little girl, she died of an aneurysm. And Usagi...   
It was Chaos. I traced it back. Hotaru could never have made the crystal shatter like that..."  
  
"How could this happen?!?" demanded Haruka, hands on her hips.  
  
Then it dawned on Michiru.  
  
"She knew..." her voice was barely a whisper, raging on the verge of hysterical, "She must've   
known how paranoid we were... and it got to her. And she believed it. She didn't want to hurt   
anyone..."  
  
Setsuna then realized with a heavy heart, that this wouldn't have happened if she hadn't been   
so scared. That it should never have happened.  
  
Haruka, feeling the same way, felt her eyes widen and her pulse quicken in panic.  
  
"Hotaru didn't commit suicide. We killed her. We killed her!!!!"  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *  
Authors notes: An aneurysm is a burst blood vessel in the brain. It causes instant death. And   
Hotaru is my favorite character. Just because she died does not mean I hate her. I identify with  
her the most and was just in the mood to write something depressing because I was depressed.  
  
Questions, comments, flames?!? Please review and go ahead and critisise. Thank you for reading   
my random thoughts ^_~   



End file.
